Assayer at work

Since releasing the word on the cleansing of His mouth, the Lord has been dealing with me in minute detail, leaving no stone unturned so that I may be able to say of the enemy, "He has nothing in me".

Today, I am not writing to you concerning some deep revelation or lofty vision but about the process of the Holy Spirit working deep within me, putting very necessary final changes in place as the next chapter begins to unfold. The reason I am sharing all this with you is firstly, transparency, and secondly, because as I unpack the way the Lord has been dealing with me, it may help someone else.

He had recently shown me that I would be going through 40 days of being harassed in the wilderness by the enemy, similar to what Jesus went through after His baptism. He also spoke the word 'assay' which refers to a testing of metals to determine their content and purity. Both of these pieces of information were very necessary, because when the enemy comes to harass and accuse, unless one knows this occasion is an appointment allowed by God (in fact, the Spirit led Jesus into the wilderness for this appointment), one is tempted to just try to rebuke him and move on. However, the word 'assay' helped me as I realized the accuser of the brethren had a litany of complaints against me and I would need the help of the Spirit to respond and adjust my heart accordingly. The Pharisees also continually accused Jesus during His earthly ministry and He only said what He heard His Father saying and I needed to know what my Father was saying about the situation, so my prayer at this time is that He would assay me.

Psa 139:23  Search me [thoroughly], O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! Psa 139:24  And see if there is any wicked or hurtful way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

Of course, our human tendency when accused is to present a defense, to explain why we are being misunderstood, to protest our innocence. However, sometimes there is a grain of truth within the folds of the accusation and the Lord is allowing it to happen to show us our own blind spots. One such incident which took place a week ago involved a subscriber writing to me and suggesting I was returning to the ways of Babylon; saying I was merchandising the gospel and not making the revelation God had given me available to the poor by charging for my e-books.  When I had released the books online, I had had absolutely no conviction by the Spirit that I was doing anything amiss. However, the Lord kept bringing me back to Romans 14 where it says 'Do not let your good be spoken evil of' and deals with the topic of causing your brother to stumble. He also told me to agree with my accuser quickly.

So I realized that it was true: when I made the e-books available, I had not given any thought to those who would not be able to afford to pay for them. I wrestled with the issue of the Lord calling what I had done in the way I released my books 'good' in His sight and yet dealing with being a stumbling block to another. It seemed to be a contradiction somehow... but somewhere in this was the wisdom of God and the counsel I needed to do what was right. I repented before Him for my lack of consideration, for being a stumbling block and asked Him to show me what to do to silence the voice of the accuser. I didn't want any wicked or hurtful ways to remain in me. I wanted to choose the more excellent way spoken of in 1 Cor 12. Immediately He showed me that I needed to make provision for the poor to also be able to feast at the banqueting table He spreads for me. So I want to ask forgiveness from you, the Body of Christ, for being thoughtless concerning those who have no means to acquire the content of my books. If there is anybody who is unable to afford to pay for the e-books, please write to me at freshoil@polka.co.za and I will gladly send you a pdf copy of the book you want to read.

The next thing that the Spirit put His finger on was the opening up of my online shop-front. I had stepped into this because it had been a desire on my heart and I had seen another prophetic artist recently do the same. I launched forth into it, assuming that because she was doing it, it was perfectly fine for me to do the same.  However, I had conveniently forgotten my usual measuring stick when making decisions - do not lean on your own understanding but in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths. That means ALL your ways! We are no longer living in the days of walking in the general will of God. We should be taking steps in the path of His specific will for each one. That means what He allows one to do is not necessarily His will for all.  His perfect will needs all our attention and focus each day. In these days, we cannot afford to take on things that are nice or that give us pleasure just for the sake of doing them. We are bondslaves of the Lamb. Even the way we spend our downtime must be vetted by Him for our own protection.

Then I had a whole conversation with the Lord - was it wrong for believers to earn a living by using their skills and talents to produce items necessary in the home? No, of course not; Paul worked with his hands and made tents in order to provide his own support - but the difference was that he did not exclusively put together tents to hold church meetings in. In other words, his ministry and his means of earning money to live on were not connected. At times, he made tents but when the Lord called him to minister, all his focus was on the task the Lord had given him for the Kingdom. It is not that having a shop-front per se is bad, but firstly, I had not sought Him in taking the step and secondly, it would take away time from other kingdom projects which I knew He had put on my heart. My own pleasure in seeing my artwork on products is immaterial. There is greater pleasure and fulfillment in doing the will of God and completing it. So as you can probably gather, the fruit of my repentance for not seeking the Lord in taking the step of opening the shop-front will be the closing of it!! We live in days when distraction and divided interest will be just the thing that the enemy taps into to weaken our kingdom impact. Good will end up being the enemy of best.

I will also be closing my youtube account, Fresh Air Releases, as I have not found the time to make it a site that is regularly updated. If you are new to this list and want to watch or download any of the videos that are there, such as 'Save the last dance for Me', please do so in the week ahead as I will delete the account at the end of the week.

So, my precious brothers and sisters, thank you for bearing with me as I hang out my clean washing for all to see. May God grant you the grace and wisdom you need to make every small adjustment in your own alignment to His specific blueprint for you. He is setting us in place to march in His end-time army of Bridal saints and we must adhere precisely to the lane appointed each of us as we run the course of the race set before us - for His glory and pleasure.

In His love

Christine